All Work and No D&D Makes Homer Something Something

I have a problem. I haven't played an RPG in about a year.

Circumstances in my life are such that I have precious little free time. Now that I've written one book of RPG material, the hook is in me to write more. I find it incredibly rewarding. But it is a much slower process than developing material for a personal game. Using my free time to write has cannibalized my ability prep and play. I assume this problem is not unique to me.

So right now, larger projects are not working for me. The scope I have in mind for the next Brechewold book is beyond my capacity especially.

Here is my new grand plan:

• I've been working on a much shorter adventure. For now, let's call it Death Rides the Black Rain.
• This will be the first in a series of short adventures re-imagining my Malara setting in a more sci-fantasy vein.
• I will release these on DriveThruRPG, with versions for Knave and LotFP. My goal right now is to do six over the next three years. We'll see how that works out.
• Once all six (or whatever seems good to me in the future) are out, I will crowdfund or find a publisher for a fancy anthology. It will include a seventh adventure and whatever additional material feels right to make the book the definitive statement of this setting.
• Hopefully I will be able to work on The Red Ledger of Brechewold in the background during this process and launch into it wholeheartedly afterwards with some momentum behind me.

I hope this means I will get to play far more often and that these shorter projects will develop my skills to meet the challenge of Red Ledger.

Here's the intro to Death Rides:

In d8+6 days comes the monsoon.

This is the vital fact. It consumes the thoughts and toils of all who prepare for it. For the monsoon in the jungles of Krok brings toxic rain, and everyone knows that under its cover, they come.

They haunt the thunderheads. Beings beyond life and death, they are sustained by the poison rain on their skin and the blood of the living. These vampyr have blighted the jungles since the monsoons turned toxic in ages unremembered by men. Until the skies clear, the inhabitants seek refuge under the dome city of Jaar.

The dome was not built by men. It was built by the mighty langur-men when their kingdom spanned Krok. After they died out, the humans moved in, and the city-state of Jaar came to be ruled by a dynastic royal clan. But after the death of the previous monarch left a boy prince on the throne, a military junta led by Colonel Arça Uto stepped in to act as “regent” - a coup d’etat in all but name. 

The Colonel has grown more paranoid with each passing monsoon season, now focusing on the defense of the city against the vampyr to the exclusion of all else. This has allowed the Glaziers’ Guild, always a powerful force in a city that depends upon its glass dome for survival, to run roughshod over the rest of the citizens, extorting them dearly.

Into this hothouse, enter three things: an ancient message deciphered by necromancers, a pox-scarred agent of collapse, and the party.

Brechewold Preview Chapter Cover

I’m nearing a full draft of The Yellow Book of Brechewold. I’ll post more excerpts soon. Once I’m happy with the words, I’m going to work on the layout of the surrounding forest chapter as a sort of proof of concept and preview chapter that I’ll put up on DTRPG or something.

A huge chunk of the art is also done. I still have the maps to do, and I think I will have to wait until I’m far along in layout to know if I want to do any more watercolor illustrations. The covers for both the preview and the final book will be digital, bright, and simple. Here’s the preview cover:

Evisceration in the Everglades

I've discovered that thin slasher movie premises make great setups for one-shot games. To wit:

It is 198X and the players are guests at Gator Gretchen’s Motor Inn, a motel and rundown former resort in the Florida Everglades. Despite its condition, it still attracts National Parks enthusiasts, birdwatchers, Skunk Ape cryptozoologists, and people trying to do a Florida beach vacation on the cheap by staying inland. This is who else is there:

“Gator” Gretchen McHenry - The owner, who bought the condemned Everglades Resort and turned it into a cheap motel, complete with animated alligator neon sign. An inveterate hustler and loudmouth. (Str 8 Dex 13 Wil 10 Stamina 4)

Alcide Martin - Classically-trained Cajun chef who does great French and Cajun cuisine, but awful at the American staples he mostly has to cook here. (Str 7 Dex 15 Wil 13 Stamina 4)

Florence Holmes - Kindly old housekeeper. Actually the daughter of the previous owners from when this was the gilded age Everglades Resort. They used it as an H. H. Holmes-style murder palace to kill wealthy guests during the Great Depression. She is appalled at what the place has become, and wants revenge. (Str 6 Dex 6 Wil 18 Stamina 2)

The D'Amico Family - Father Jack, a NYPD officer, mother Diane, and son Kevin, a family sick of each other after the drive down from New York City. (Jack Str16 Dex 11 Wil 9 Stamina 2, Diane Str 11 Dex 13 Wil 12 Stamina 2, Kevin Str 9 Dex 6 Wil 12 Stamina 6)

Barbara James and Ernie Hubbard - The Jacksonville chapter of the American Cryptozoological Society, down for a skunk ape hunt. They teach at the same high school. Actually, only Barbara cares about the skunk ape. Ernie secretly doesn't believe in it. He's in love with her and feigns interest to spend time with her away from his wife. She has no idea. (Both Str 10 Dex 10 Wil 10 Stamina 3)

Fred Nerk (Holmes) - Supposedly an Australian on a sport fishing holiday, but actually Florence's son. He's a tank of a man and will do her bidding. (Str 18 Dex 6 Wil 18 Stamina 6)

Chronology of the night if the players do nothing:

6 pm: Gator Gretchen checks guests in and informs them that the next bus will be noon the next day.

6:30 pm: Guests gather in the Sawgrass Grill for dinner.

7 pm: Alcide happens to recognize Florence in an old staff photo in the restaurant for the first time, and calls her over to show her.

8 pm: Florence orders Fred to kill Alcide when he takes the trash out in the back. He is found floating in the pool 15 minutes later by Barbara, mangled, arm nearly ripped from his body. Barbara and Ernie think it's the skunk ape and go to get their cryptozoology gear.

9 pm: Barbara finds Fred in the machine shop behind the motel cleaning blood off himself. He kills her. She is discovered by Ernie, who loses it and admits he was only there because he was in love with her. Fred removes the spark plugs from all cars in the lot.

10 pm: Florence lures Gretchen into the basement of the main building and kills her. Fred sets fire to the D'Amicos' room. Trails of gasoline lead back to his car.

10:30 pm onward: Florence and Fred try to start picking off the players one by one.

I used Into the Odd (free preview here) for the rules framework. At this point, I can't imagine myself using any other system for one-shot games. It's my go-to for tight, minimal, easily-adaptable rules. Here are my modifications for running a horror game:

• I use Willpower instead of Charisma, which replaced it in the superb update Electric Bastionland (free preview here). It's more appropriate for the situation.
• I call "Hit Points" plain old Stamina. I think it gets the point across in a less abstract way.
• No equipment matrix. I just have them all come up with a reason for staying there, and I said they could have anything they reasonably would have brought for that purpose.
• Whenever characters witness something fucked up, they take d6 Willpower damage and have to make a Willpower save. Anyone who fails freaks out and can't do anything useful until they're out of danger. You have to be completely relaxed to regain Willpower.
• Instead of moving, the killer/monster/whatever may transfer d6 Willpower to Strength on its turn. I think of this as "the Jason effect."
• I didn't do it for this game, but usually I secretly text the players hidden, conflicting agendas for their characters to complete. I never tell them I'm doing this. Actually, I saw that the Alien RPG does something similar. Great minds. It looks pretty dope - I just don't have the need or money for a new game right now.

If you want to run a game like this, all you really need is a thin premise, a cast of colorful characters to kill off first, a timeline of events, and a map with goodies stashed around it. A soundtrack helps, too. I made a pretty sweet Spotify playlist, if I do say so myself.

We Three Kings

This is a one-shot Christmas-appropriate adventure for Lamentations of the Flame Princess or whatever you want. I ran it for my Skype LotFP group, which consists of high school friends who are usually spread out across the country. But, thanks to holiday magic, they were all at my dining room table on Tuesday night.

It is Christmas Eve, 1567. Mary, Queen of Scots has abdicated the throne and fled south to England, leaving her one-year-old son James to inherit Scotland. In my game, the players are traveling to Edinburgh, hoping that the uncertain political climate means available work for ne'er-do-wells.

An evening snowfall finds the players marching through a pine forest, whiting out the deep green-blue  of the trees and blanketing the mossy undergrowth. Just as further travel becomes impossible, they emerge to find a sorry castle against the horizon. At least it's shelter.

The swinging orange of the porter's lamp and the baying of hounds greet the players, who are ushered in to be welcomed to Dunsinane Castle by lanky, tall Una and round Conall, the daughter and son of the lord. They are under the impression the party is here to pay its respects to the new king of Scotland, which is odd since the king is supposed to be some baby in Edinburgh.

It turns out they mean their father, Caspar of Clan Macbeth. Caspar is an old man on the verge of death, bedridden at the head of a long and empty banquet table in the castle's drafty hall. He will explain that Mary's late abdication is the final straw for "Banquo's line," finally proving how unfit that family is to govern. It is finally time for clan Macbeth to reclaim the throne they took, rightfully, by bold action, centuries ago.

If the players press for details, it's Macbeth, of course. The Macbeth of the play is Caspar's multiple-great uncle, and this is now all that remains of the family. They're not in any state to be reclaiming a country, either: no money or arms to speak of, no allies, dilapidated castle.

There are basically two ways the adventure can go from here: working with or against the Macbeths. If the players seem especially sympathetic, they may be asked to help with their desperate plan. If not, the family will be cagey and send the players to bed. Their plan is to descend into Dunsinane's older, haunted depths, grapple with the ghosts of the past, and search out the Weird Sisters who favored their ancestor so long ago. Perhaps they will do the same for Caspar.

The entrance to the older part of the castle is shut behind a huge portrait of Macbeth in the great hall,  the sky storm-wracked on one side of him and sunny and blue on the other. To enter, one must speak Macbeth's first line of the play: "So foul and fair a day I have not seen." Hint this as you wish. If you have a copy of the play, you can introduce it as Macbeth's journal, or just print out certain passages.

Once inside, this is the lay of the land:

1. A narrow staircase descending, with the stonework and masonry gradually transitioning to an older style.

2. A large, colonnaded hall, haunted by the pale, iridescent ghost of Banquo. If the players choose not to help the Macbeths, Una and Conall will already be negotiating with, fighting, or attempting to avoid this ghost. If the players do choose to help, Una and Conall may accompany them into the depths or may be too cowardly. Your choice.

Ghost of Banquo: 4 HD, AC 14, carries a torch (d6 + burns d4 more rounds for d4 damage per round)

Muttering when the players approach:
"Thou hast it now: king, Cawdor, Glamis, all, as the weird women promised, and, I fear, thou play'dst most foully for't..."

If attacked:
"There will be rain to-night..." - It begins to rain a black oil in the hall, which may be set alight by his torch.

3. A ghostly executioner with a finely made sword, lopping off the heads of a long line of perceived threats to Macbeth's throne.

4. The heads roll from the executioner's sword into this room, to the door of the king's chambers, where they lament their fate and warn of intruders.

5. Macbeth's court, attended by ghostly courtiers and soldiers, chanting, "All hail Macbeth, Macbeth all hail." Will claw at anyone not of Macbeth's line. Fine tapestries abound.

6. A rotting feast attended by headless lords. Fine silverware.

7. The ghost of Lady Macbeth, cradled in death's arms.

Ghost of Lady Macbeth: 6 HD, AC 16

Muttering when the players approach:
"To bed, to bed! There's knocking at the gate: come, come, come, come, give me your hand. What's done cannot be undone.--To bed, to bed, to bed!"

If attacked:
"Come to my woman's breasts, and take my milk for gall, you murdering ministers..." - Green bile spews from her mouth as an attack, d12 damage.

"Yet here's a spot..." - The players bleed from a new orifice each round, -1 HP per round until Lady Macbeth is dispatched. No save.

"Who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him..." - A tidal wave of blood crashes against the players. Save or cower in fear.

8. The ghost of Macbeth, pacing his richly-appointed king's chambers.

Ghost of Macbeth: 7 HD, AC 18, carries a greatsword (d10)

Muttering when the players approach:
"To be thus is nothing; but to be safely thus.--Our fears in Banquo stick deep; and in his royalty of nature reigns that which would be fear'd: 'tis much he dares..."

If attacked:
"Is this a dagger which I see before me?" - Daggers appear before each player, menacing to attack (d4). a Successful attack by the player (against Macbeth's AC) is enough to bat them away.

"O, full of scorpions is my mind..." - Dozens of scorpions crawl from the shadows, attempting to sting the players (d4 damage + save vs. poison). Fire is most effective in dealing with them.

"Birnam Wood be come to Dunsinane..." - Tree roots grow from cracks in the floor to wrap around the players' ankles. Save or immobilized.

9. An old, worn door to an even more ancient place:

1. The walls here are rough-hewn and cavelike, carved with swirly Celtic runes. Goat skulls and animal bones warn away intruders. The way branches into three passages.

2. Chamber of the first weird sister.

Doileag: 4 HD, AC 13. Beguiling and naked with medusan hair. Save or charmed. Her hair can coil and choke the life from you (grapple, d8 per turn)

3. Chamber of the second weird sister.

Sidheag: 4 HD, AC 13. Wizened crone. Her skeletal cats (1 HD, AC 14, d6) fight for her.

4. Chamber of the third weird sister.

Mordag: 4 HD, AC 13. A goth chick with a big old bastard sword (d8). Save or lose the motivation to continue living.

Note: all three sisters may cast spells as a 6th level Magic User, if desired.

5. The summoning circle, drawn in chalk, blood, and ash. All three chambers lead here. The sisters are attempting to commune with Melchior, King and Queen of the Air. Offerings of gold, frankincense, and myrrh surround a book of demon-summoning. Melchior has the power to grant Caspar Macbeth's wish, though at a terrible price. May also grant the players wishes, though again at terrible prices.

Melchior, King and Queen of the Air:

If summoned by three sisters: 9 HD, AC 17, talons (2 x d10 + save vs. poison)
If summoned by two sisters: 6 HD, AC 15, talons (2 x d10)
If summoned by one sister: 3 HD, AC 13, talons (2 x d6)
If summoned by the players: as the LotFP Summon spell

When summoned:
How did you dare
To trade and traffic with Macbeth
In riddles and affairs of death;
And I, the mistress of your charms,
The close contriver of all harms,
Was never call'd to bear my part,
Or show the glory of our art?
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